As most of you know, my long silence has been due to my absence. I actually left the squat and went to London for a few days. Work not pleasure but as I was to be child free, I had high hopes of the trip being an exercise in R & R. Huh!
I had everything carefully planned. After my leisurely flight on BA rather than Ryan (bloody) Air, I would be collected by my bestest friend and hairdresser who would give me a complete makeover. This meant I would arrive at the show looking like Capable, Confident Career woman rather than Dragged Through a Hedge woman. A 48 hour shopping window would help with this transformation. Then the other bestest friends would turn up for wine, curry and gossip. Then I would go to the hotel where I could enjoy a few nights sleep without being woken up by children or incontinent elderly dogs wanting to go for a wee at 3 am.
Needless to say, it didn't exactly pan out like this. My BA flight was canceled due to the snow so Ryan (bloody) Air was my only option. The hairdresser got stuck in the snow and I lost my 48 hour shopping and gossip window. A delayed flight, delayed baggage and canceled trains meant that I finally staggered into my hotel room at 10 pm the night before kick off. And yes, I still looked like Dragged Through a Hedge Woman.
Still, I consoled myself with the thought that after four months of no central heating and only basic washing facilities, at least I would be able to enjoy the hotel bathroom. So I ran myself a deep bath and prepared to enjoy washing without shivering. I did notice that the room was cool but assumed that the heating had been turned down; I set the thermostat to scorchio and stripped off. As I launched myself into the bath, the icy water hit me as did the realisation that there was no hot water and the heating was on the blink. So much for my first bath in months.
The next morning there was still no bloody hot water. Having discovered that 'maintenance' hadn't yet arrived, my only option was to boil kettles like a good girl scout. Still I needed to wash to wake myself up as much as anything else.
I'd been kept awake between 3 and 5 am by the goings on in the next door bedroom which resulted in the police turning up and arresting the occupant for assault. He (Man A), had been enjoying a foursome with his girlfriend and her two friends when another bloke tried to join in. As the occupant pointed out to the boys in blue, he'd invited the other chap up to watch but when he wanted to take part, Man A felt that this was 'disrespectin his girlfriend'. Who I swear, was called Inga.
Being an old fashioned type of girl, I tend to think that if you are happy to have group sex and let people watch, you are probably not too concerned about being respected. However Man A disagreed and promptly attacked Man B.
By the time this was all over and Man A had been led away in handcuffs, I was completely awake and unable to get back to sleep.
Still on the upside, the show went well and as the whole of London was wearing bizarre headgear in an attempt to keep warm, 'hat hair' was the norm and my bedraggled locks fitted in a treat.