We don’t like the C word in this house. And by that I don’t mean the four letter version, although we don’t like that much either. No, I’m talking about the C word that is more usually associated with reindeer and sleighs. And simply because it always causes arguments. Coming from a family where my mother would ritually threaten to “Cancel Christmas” every year - (she never did to be fair) - I’ve ended up as someone who loves the entire shebang. Carol concerts give me a lump in the throat and small children in nativity plays make me cry. I would happily have the tree up and all the animals wearing tinsel by December 1st. Mr. H is more your “Bah humbug” kind of guy, so every year we have a stand off about what is going to happen and when.
He argues the case for environmental concerns and over consumption of disposable items. In other words, no cards are to be sent or presents bought. I simply ignore him. Which obviously, is not great for marital harmony. But this year, even I have realised that we will have to spend carefully - we simply haven’t got the cash to do otherwise, so no comedy Breton condoms (they really do exist) in the teenagers Christmas stockings. Besides, as I mentioned the other week, the French tax payer is already keeping the teens adequately supplied with contraceptive devices.
So this year we have compromised and agreed that we are going to make presents for each other. Now this is okay for Mr. H who is quite handy with the plane and the lathe (biblical Christmas reference fully intended) but for yours truly - there’s no chance. I am about the least creative soul on the planet. I always recall my first mother in law, asking which crafts and hobbies I enjoyed. “Do you sew Catharine? Make pottery? Knit? Paint? Weave? Play any instruments?” By the time she’d run through the whole gamut of possible leisure activities, with an increasing note of desperation in her voice and realised that I didn’t even ‘bake,’ the death knell had already sounded on our relationship. So I have absolutely no idea, whatsoever, as to what I could produce that anyone might possibly want to receive.
I will probably resort to tokens. These are a staple feature in our household. The idea being, you issue the token and then hope the bearer either loses it, or never gets round to redeeming it. I’ve been doing this for years. I got the idea from my parents who gave me one as a pony mad twelve year old. It said, “This token entitles the bearer to a 14.2h bay gelding.” I was over the moon until I read the typed disclaimer at the bottom - “This item is currently out of stock but the token can be redeemed for a new pair of jeans instead.” They thought it was hilarious. I have remained traumatised but my therapist says I can deal with this by doing the same to my own kids.
At some point the kids might find all their tokens, cash them in and I will be forced to spend an entire fortnight visiting Roman villas, taking them ice-skating and buying seven guinea pigs. In the meantime, I’m just going to give Mr. H a token promising “Not to put tinsel around all the cats collars before December 15th” - yeah right....
I laughed because I'm quite a Christmas fan as well. I never thought about tokens, but you could wind up with some surprises!
ReplyDeleteGood luck figuring out the perfect gift.
I'd never thought of tokens! What a super...if dangerous...idea!
ReplyDeleteI'm not risking it with Mr. Fly....
My train tickets to the UK are costing €200 more than last year. I'm gonna have to tell my siblings that my pressie is my presence, and I'll only buy pressies for the kids and my mother.
ReplyDeleteThere's a limit, isn't there, on how much one can lay out! Tokens sound a funny idea. :)
There's also a level ( I think) at which Christmas is now slightly out of control. Most of us have all the material stuff we really need and if not it tends to be big items like a new car which Santa is unlikely to be bringing anyway....
ReplyDeleteOh, yes! We did 'Gift Certificates' in our house when I was a child. I found out that if I made them gorgeous with little paintings and pretty calligraphy, my parents and sister where more enthralled with the whole 'art present' look of it instead of the fact it was for, "One Car Wash - with Scrubbing Wheels and Polishing Chrome" or "Two Weeks of Your Turn to Clean the Cat Box"... and the like.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember any of them ever being exchanged for the job promised.
But due to the 'crise' here in OUR house, most everything will be handmade, present-wise. My daughters will get ONE game each for their Wii, but that's it. They already know it and they are actually fine with it. We are centring on how it is better to give to others than necessarily receive ourselves. So, lots of trays of cookies and biscuits, cakes and brownies will go out of the house to give to friends, neighbours and teachers. They all just think it's a rather quaint custom from the mad Américaine and her filles Anglaises. Midway through December, my younger daughter's Primaire is having me around with homemade Gingerbread men that I'll decorate with the classes from Petite Section right up to CM2. Luckily, it's a very small school!
But lights, wreaths, trees and decorations? Ha! Just try to stop me!
Ah - a fellow token giver!
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